Tuesday, June 12, 2012

Story Time!

Here is a short story that I wrote for an English assignment not to long ago.

Look At All The Lonely Solid People
By Katie Molind

          Grieving, they say it hurts but that would be an improvement. They’re wrong it doesn’t hurt, it’s just nothing, no pain, no sadness, it’s just … nothing. An infinite numbness that threatens to eat away anything human left inside you. When I heard what happened I was shocked into this numbness and my parents sent me to grief counseling almost right away. I told the therapist I didn’t need grief counseling, I wasn’t hurting. However, she insisted that once the shock wore off I would start feeling the pain. So she continues to steal money from my parents on a weekly basis. It’s been almost four months now but the numbness hasn’t left me yet.
The darkness continues to eat away at my soul, as I suffer through yet another memorial service. I knew Alex was popular, but four months out and still having memorial services, well that was just ridiculous. This was all his mother’s doing. As I watch this sad little woman I can’t help but wonder what she thinks might happen. Does she believe that all these memorial services will bring him back? If I ever told her what he really thought about her I’m sure she’d stop trying to bring him back. She would let even the memories fade away. That was the thing about Alex when he loved someone he really loved someone, he would die for them. If he hated someone he really hated someone, he would spite them. There was never any in between, he lived in a black and white world. I wonder what he would think about the shades of grey that now envelop my world.
A soft arm wraps around my waist and I can tell with out looking that it’s Luke. Luke and I have known each other since we were babies; I guess that’s why he never meant much to me. I know he took it hard when I started hanging out with Alex in the seventh grade, but Alex was different from anyone I had ever met and when you were with him you felt special some how. We were friends for years before we started dating my sophomore year of high school; he was a year older than me. Now it was my senior year of college. Luke had been there too, this whole time he never left my side. The sad part was I didn’t want Luke, he kept trying to win me over and I kept pushing him away. Now I guess he believed that he could take Alex’s place now that he was gone. Luke couldn’t compare when Alex was alive and he certainly wasn’t going to replace him now that Alex is gone.
I look over at Luke and he smiles a sickeningly sympathetic smile. I pushed his hand away, I’ve never loved you and I never will. My silence bears the words I can’t say myself and he leaves. Look at all these foolish people, they never even knew Alex, if only people who truly knew him were invited I would stand alone.
As the lonely fools made their way back to their lonely little lives, I sat through  another wave of sympathetic nods. At that moment I thought that this was going to be the rest of my life. Sitting like a ghost, watching all the solid people move on with their lives until I too am finally forgotten. I had no idea what was coming for me.
“Cassidy”, the sound of my name made me jump.
“Yes Mrs. Fielder?” I felt guilty for the way I thought of Alex’s mother only moments before.
“Cassidy, I have something for you here”, she handed me a small yellow envelope that had my name printed on it in Alex’s large blocky handwriting. “He wanted you to have this, wrote it in the hospital. I don’t know what it is but he made it seem like it was very important.”
“I…. Thank you.”
She nodded and I could see the crystal tears escape hers eyes as she turned her face to leave, another lonely solid person.
I opened the envelope carelessly; I had no idea that what the envelope contained could quite possibly change my life forever. I slipped out the seemingly insignificant piece of paper and began to read the words:

            I know how incredibly hard this must be for you and I know that you have slipped away from everything you have ever been. I just want you to know that people will miss you, your energy, your smile, your laugh, and your ever optimistic personality. People need you Cassidy especially in times like this. You need to show them how to move on. Especially my mother, goodness knows she’s probably already had fifteen memorial services. Tell her I love her and stop being so selfish. There are better things in this world then reminiscing over faded memories, help people. Go out there and make a beautiful life, for me.

I was shocked, really I was although I shouldn't be. Alex lived in a world of black and white he saw everything for exactly what it was even me. I slipped to my knees and cried. They were right, they were all right. It did hurt, the grieving, it hurt worse then anything I had ever felt before. Four months of bottled hurt, anger, and sadness came pouring out of my eyes, a bit of it slipping away from me with every tear. When I had finally finished I stood up. No one was watching they were all caught up in their own grief to even notice one more grieving ghost. It was then that I realized they weren’t solid at all. They were just as lonely and messed up as me, we were all just ghosts.
“Look at all the lonely solid people, they’re just ghosts.”
I smiled in spite of the new found pain I now felt; I had a plan, a purpose. I was going to help all the lonely ghosts become solid again, starting with one in particular.
“Luke”, I extended my hand to him. “Let’s talk.”
He could never replace Alex no one could ever do that but he was ghost and I was going to help him. Who knows, maybe I just might help myself.


Hope you enjoyed!!

Monday, May 21, 2012

Something I Miss

Day 20: Describe something that you miss.

Some times I really miss being a little kid. The world was so simple then, everything was black and white. I really miss that, being free from responsibility and worry. I guess it all comes down to happiness. Other times I'm really glad that I'm older (and wiser?) now. I love where I am right now in life, I always try to live in the moment. I guess  I also miss my brother. Since he's nine years older than me he has left the house and now he's married. He is really cool so I miss him a lot.

This was the day for my writing challenge project, so I really hope you guys enjoyed. I may write in this blog later if I have something interesting to write about, but for now BYE!

Hope you enjoyed!

My Thoughts on Mainstream Music

Day 19: What are your views on mainstream music?

I don't think that there's anything wrong with mainstream music. I listen to what ever I like at the time. I try not to give labels to music because usually you just end up judging the music before you even listen to it. People often tell me that they hate certain genres of music or certain artists. I used to do that but now I try not to because I don't want to potentially miss out on some great music because I was too quick to judge the music. Many people are really against mainstream music. I don't really care like I said I just listen to what I like I don't care if it's mainstream or something no one has ever heard before.

Hope you enjoyed!

Sunday, May 20, 2012

My Thoughts on Education

Day 18: How important do you think education is?

I think that a proper education is extremely important, especially in today's society where most businesses that offer decent jobs won't hire you with out some kind of a degree. I really bothers me when I see other students that just don't care about their education. To be fair I must add that I don't always give 100% into my school work 100% of the time, but I have never let my grades fall and that is a matter of personal pride for me. Even if you disregard the fact that you need a decent education to get a good job, you should get an education to better yourself. Every time you learn a new skill or system you are making yourself better. For me education is all about self improvement. I think that it should be that way for everyone. Working hard at your studies is just another way of showing that you have respect for yourself and that you honestly want to make yourself a better person.

Hope you enjoyed!

My Earliest Memory

Day 17: Describe your earliest memory.

My earliest memory takes place when I was probably about 4 or 5. I remember wearing a little dress and spinning around in our back yard next to my mom while she weeded our garden. Yes I know it's exactly vivid or detailed but it is my earliest memory and for being such an old memory i think it's a pretty good one.

Hope you enjoyed!

My Favorite Movie

Day 16: What is your favorite movie and why?

My favorite movie is probably Independence Day. I remember watching it with my dad when I was probably 8 or 9 and I loved it. Now that I'm older I still watch it and I still think it's a great movie. It was the first real sci-fi movie that my dad and I ever watched together. Before that I would sometimes watch Star Trek with him on Sunday afternoons but now we watch sci-fi movies together all the time. I guess part of the reason why I love the movie so much is because it makes me think of my dad.

Hope you enjoyed!

Dinner with a Historical Figure.

Day 15: If you could have dinner with anyone in history, who would it be and what would you eat?

I would have dinner with Leonardo Da Vinci. Da Vinci was an important astronomer, inventor, scientist, and artist. Pretty much everything that I have ever wanted to be in my life Da Vinci was and he was awesome. I would love to sit down and just talk with him about his ideas and his opinions on things. I think that we would eat Italian food. I love Italian food also Da Vinci was Italian so he would like it too.

I hope you enjoyed!